allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
