So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
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last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
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WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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