I think scott just propositioned me for sex
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Randomize
