I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
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I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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