Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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