Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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