My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
