she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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