So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
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