Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize