It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.