ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned