Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic