Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?