Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
