God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
