Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy