she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Dating After Heartbreak
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.