Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.