I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect