Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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