I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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