I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize