Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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