Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
