we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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