So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
