No awkward lesbian experiences without me
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
