she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
