im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
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