So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I didn't notice because vodka
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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