I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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