I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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