I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize