dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize