Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
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