There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
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morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
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she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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