It's like God shit irony all over that family
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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