So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
