I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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