i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies