we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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