did you get engaged???
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
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She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
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Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.