He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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