i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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