She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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