I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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