i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty