walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
either way he was missing a nipple.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I spit up blood this morning
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.