Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
