dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.