The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.