yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.