Ambien. No doubt about it.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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