wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
