This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Randomize
