I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
