these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
