i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
it glows. i had to have it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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